Behavior Change Basics: Part 2
Confidence
Change, even if it is positive, can be challenging to implement. Motivation may be high, however barriers to change can and will arise for multiple reasons. Barriers can be simple or very difficult to address and may be within or outside of your control. When the road to change gets bumpy, the question becomes how confident are you in your ability to address and overcome obstacles?
Last week I used the example of Kate deciding whether or not to train for and run a marathon. In the different responses she had varying levels of motivation and confidence. The example below shows high motivation combined with low and high levels of confidence (content related to confidence is italicized):
1. High Motivation + Low Confidence: I really want to run a marathon, but work is busy so I may not have time to train. I also hurt my knee a few weeks ago and don’t know if I can manage that distance right now.
2. High Motivation + High Confidence: Running a marathon is a life goal and it’s something I have always wanted to do. It will be hard, but I have been training consistently and have done several half marathons successfully. I have been running longer distances recently and time set aside to train in my schedule. I see no obstacles that can’t be overcome.
Notice how both scenarios contain barriers to accomplishing the goal Kate is considering. In Scenario 1, Kate simply presents barriers without any solutions to overcoming them. In Scenario 2, Kate knows her goal will be difficult, but instead of talking about all of the barriers, she gives solutions to overcoming them and what she needs to do to be successful. This is an example of change talk. Rather than listing all of the reasons she can’t do the marathon, she lists the reasons she can. Kate is talking herself into running the marathon, rather than talking herself out of it. This doesn’t mean Kate does not anticipate barriers. Even in the example where Kate demonstrates high confidence, she implies them. Let’s read between the lines and take another look (barriers shown in italics):
High Motivation + High Confidence: Running a marathon is a life goal and it’s something I have always wanted to do. It will be hard, I have never run that distance before and I am unsure if I am capable of doing it, but I have been training consistently and have done several half marathons successfully. Work has been busy and training will take a large time commitment; however I have been running longer distances and have set aside time to train in my schedule. I see no obstacles that can’t be overcome.
Kate is aware there will be challenges to accomplishing her goals, however she has thought about the solutions in advance. She is taking a proactive approach as well as highlighting evidence of what will make her successful. When a challenge arises, she has a plan to address it rather than being caught off guard and feeling defeated. This doesn’t mean something unexpected won’t happen, however enhancing confidence by managing the anticipated issues successfully will help her navigate “surprises” more easily when they arise.
Tips to enhance confidence:
1. Be proactive rather than reactive. Anticipate the fact that challenges will occur rather than hoping they won’t happen. Avoidance isn’t a helpful tool and crossing your fingers and hoping for the best won’t prevent barriers, it will potentially make them more difficult to deal with when they arise.
2. List barriers and solutions to them. Anticipating some of the challenges that will arise also allows you the opportunity to generate solutions and a plan to address them. When you think about how to respond to a barrier in advance it makes it much easier to handle in the moment. If you feel stuck in coming up with solutions, look for examples of how you overcame similar challenges in the past, think about what you would say to a friend in your situation, or reach out to someone you trust for suggestions.
3. Notice your internal dialogue. What thoughts are coming up regarding your change? Are they focused on how you will be successful in accomplishing your goal or are they telling you all the reasons you won’t succeed? If your thoughts consist of barriers, you can remind yourself of the solutions or generate new ones. What we think and tell ourselves matters…I will discuss this in more depth in future posts.
Change is not easy. Believing that it must be obstacle free will prevent us from ever moving forward. Believing we are capable of overcoming obstacles by anticipating them and generating solutions to overcome them allows us to engage in the change process. As we make progress toward our goal and overcome barriers we continue to build confidence.
Successful change is built on a foundation of high motivation and confidence; however life can throw us unexpected curve balls or even a wrench in some cases. But as Patches O’Houlihan once said “If you can dodge a wrench….you can dodge a ball”. Next week I will discuss keeping momentum even when setbacks occur.
References: Miller, W.R. & Rollnick, S. (2002). Motivational Interviewing: Preparing People for Change (second edition). Guilford Press.
It's true...how fast you can talk yourself from doing something. This was a very informative post. I will have to work on some of these thought processes.