Identifying Negative Thoughts: Part 1
Exploring the minefield of cognitive distortions
My last post focused on challenging and changing negative thoughts. One of the most challenging steps in doing this is to notice and identify some of these negative thoughts. Once we identify a problematic thought we have the opportunity to change it. If you have paid attention to your thoughts, you may have noticed we are inundated with them, so how do we know what thoughts to challenge?
The first sign is tuning into your emotional state. If you are feeling negative emotions, chances are you will notice negative automatic thoughts. So how do we know which thoughts to focus on? Problematic thought patterns are developed over a long period of time and may be hard to identify. Fortunately, they can be easy to spot if you know what you are looking for. Cognitive distortions are irrational thought patterns that all of us experience, however if we learn to identify and challenge them, it lessens their impact. Over the next few posts I am going to highlight some of the most common cognitive distortions (yes, there are several). You most likely have experienced them, however it’s only when we believe them that they become problematic.
Types of Cognitive Distortions:
Should Statements. We have talked about “shoulds” being problematic in the past. When we use the word should it highlights the problematic expectation that something has to be a specific way or we must behave in a certain way. For example, “I should be happy”, “I shouldn’t be upset”, “I should work harder.” Should can be substituted with “must” or “ought” as well. If we are feeling sad and we tell ourselves we “should” be happy, that isn’t helpful. In fact, it only makes us feel worse. It’s important to acknowledge our actual feelings rather than avoid experiencing them.
All or Nothing Thinking. Similar to should statements, this type of distortion is easy to identify if we tune into our words. If you notice the words always, never, or every it’s likely you are engaging in a negative thought pattern. When you challenge the thought and examine evidence for or against this type of thought it’s helpful to challenge that particular word. It’s incredibly rare for something to ALWAYS or NEVER be a certain way. For example, if we make a mistake and we find ourselves thinking “Ugh! I always mess up, I never get anything right!”, it is simply not accurate. We all make mistakes from time to time, however we do a lot of things well too.
Hyper-focusing on the Negative (Discounting the Positive). Think about the times you have received feedback from a mentor or boss, been evaluated, or received some type of constructive criticism. These experiences usually involve being presented with strengths and areas that can be improved. How balanced is your reception of this information? When we struggle with this type of thought pattern we tend to completely ignore the positive feedback and focus only on the negative. This can also happen when we self evaluate—we ignore accomplishments, achievements, personal strengths, and focus only on flaws or perceived inadequacies. When we challenge these thoughts it’s important to LOOK for and identify our positive qualities. We are human, we will never be flawless, this is an unrealistic expectation. It’s important to focus on balancing our weaknesses with our strengths. Hyper-focusing on our perceived flaws quickly deteriorates our self esteem.
Emotional Reasoning. We get into trouble when we think our emotions reflect reality. For instance, I feel like a failure, therefore I am a failure. I feel lonely, therefore no one cares about me. Our emotions are constantly changing, and what may feel true in one moment, may change in the next. This is why it is necessary to rely on evidence and rational thought processes to determine what we believe. Becoming aware of your emotional state and how you feel will cue you to be aware of the thoughts, especially when you are experiencing a negative emotional state.
Spend some time tuning into your internal dialogue, specific words you use, and emotional state this week and notice if these types negative automatic thoughts come up. If you notice them, it offers the opportunity to challenge the thought using the Toolbox Tip post on challenging negative thoughts (if you need a refresher or an example, click here). As a reference, here are steps for challenging a negative thought/cognitive distortion:
Identify the situation
List the negative thought
List evidence supporting the thought
List evidence that does not support the thought
Identify a more balanced thought
As with any new skill, the more you practice the easier it gets. Next week, we will discuss another round of cognitive distortions that keep us stuck.
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So insightful! Thank you!