Mindfulness: What it is and How it Benefits Us

Have you ever found yourself reading and noticed you didn’t process or absorb a single word on the page? Have you ever engaged in a conversation with someone only to realize your mind was elsewhere and you didn’t comprehend a single word they said? Perhaps you have noticed times where you had no recollection of where you left your keys or wallet. You know they are somewhere in the house, but have no idea where. All of us experience these moments where our brain is on autopilot and thinking about something else rather than being focused on what we are doing in the present moment. Today we dive into the topic of mindfulness. How it allows us to be more present and focused in our daily lives, feel more connected and engaged with others, and how it is helpful for our mental well-being.

The examples I shared are the opposite of being mindful, or as I like to call it, being mindless. Our brain has a tendency to go on autopilot and can develop habits like time travel (jumping between the past and the future), thinking of all of the things that need to be done, or ruminating about something upsetting that happened in the past. The trouble is our brain tends to do these things instead of focusing on what is happening in the present moment. So while are bodies are reading, cooking, driving, or listening to our partner tell us about their day our brain may be in a very different place.

Our brain has the capability of getting fully absorbed in the present moment, however we sometimes need to exercise and practice that skill. There are actually many benefits to staying connected to the present moment. Have you ever been so completely focused or absorbed in an activity that you lose track of time? This can be described as “flow” and it can happen to us when we are fully present or engaged in the moment. My husband occasionally experiences this while skiing and whenever it happens, it becomes a really great day for him.

What Exactly is Mindfulness?

First, when I ask people what their understanding of mindfulness is, they usually equate it with meditation. Meditation is a way in which we can practice mindfulness, however there is much more to it. One definition of mindfulness I use is “Mindfulness is the awareness that emerges through paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally to things as they are.” This simple definition can require a lot of practice. For most of us, our brain wants to change things rather than allow them to simply be. Our brain is also quite opinionated, and likes to travel between the past and future especially when dealing with emotional discomfort or distress. Practicing mindfulness allows us to reduce the noise and clutter in our brain which is beneficial for our well-being.

What Gets us Emotionally Stuck?

While emotional distress is unpleasant, it isn’t what gets us stuck. Rather it is our reaction to the distress. Emotions behave similarly to waves in the ocean. They are constantly changing. They intensify and retreat. This is a natural process. One of the traps we fall in is feeling the need to force our emotions to change. When we hurt or experience emotional pain we want it to go away. As a result, we try to force it, tell ourselves “I can’t take it, this is unbearable, it has to stop…” Unfortunately, when we react to our emotions this way it backfires. This reaction (rather than the emotion itself) actually keeps us stuck in this challenging place and increases our emotional distress. We try to problem solve or think our way out of feeling the distress which digs us in deeper, like getting your car stuck in the mud and continuing to step on the gas. The wheels keep spinning, but instead of getting to dry ground, the car gets further stuck in the mud. So what can we do instead? The alternative is to teach our brain to be more mindful and present focused. Rather than trying to force the painful emotions away, we allow them to be. We explore them with curiosity, we treat ourselves with compassion (rather than harshness), and we let the emotions pass on their own.

Mindfulness has been an effective strategy to treat several issues including but not limited to depression, anxiety, addiction, stress, eating behaviors, and chronic pain. Practicing mindfulness is incredibly beneficial to our well-being and many evidence-based therapies have a mindfulness component (e.g., Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, etc.). Mindfulness is much more than a treatment to address specific problems. It is also a way to engage with daily life. When we are present, non-judgmental, and compassionate we are able to manage daily hassles better, connect with other people, and are less reactive and stressed.

Research shows that practicing mindfulness can change our brains for the better! Studies have examined the brain and found that mindfulness results in changes in neural pathways in areas associated with emotion regulation and other areas of higher order cognitive processing. We increase our ability to treat ourselves with compassion, manage challenging emotions more effectively, and reduce unhelpful ruminations when emotional distress occurs. For individuals with a history of depressive episodes, MBCT was as effective in preventing recurrence of depression as antidepressant medications. The benefits extend to a variety of other challenges including health conditions such as managing cancer and chronic pain. Some of the key components to these lasting changes are increases in self compassion, present moment awareness, and acceptance.

TIPS for Practicing Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a skill and takes practice. Over the next several posts, I will offer mindful based concepts and exercises to strengthen this skill. If mindful practice is something you would like to explore on a deeper level I recommend The Mindful Way Workbook. I use this with clients and it can be purchased on Amazon or any other book seller. First, let’s use the next couple of weeks to develop some basic skills related to being present focused and developing a sense of awareness.

1. Notice when you go on autopilot. How frequently does it happen? Do you notice you aren’t absorbing things or thinking of one thing when you are doing another? The first step is to become aware of when our brain is bouncing around or trying to multitask too much. When this happens, simply notice and redirect to what you are doing in the moment. Another way to practice this is focusing on one thing at a time. We have a tendency to multitask a bit too much these days. How often are you watching TV and scrolling on your phone? In order to be more present focused we need to allow our brain to be fully present in one thing at a time. In contrast, notice times when you are fully present and engaged. What is that experience like? We can practice being more present simply by noticing and paying attention to small everyday tasks such as brushing our teeth, taking a shower, folding laundry. Notice what it is like to fully engage in some of these everyday activities. Do you notice things about them you missed before?

   

2. Notice how you respond to distressing emotions. When you feel sadness, anger, anxiety, frustration, etc. how do you respond? Notice your internal dialogue. Do you notice self kindness or harshness? Do you feel an intense desire to make it change or push it away or do you notice the emotion, acknowledge it, and allow it to pass on it’s own? We tend to react without really understanding the process. Allow yourself to observe what happens and whether this makes you feel worse or better. It’s okay if you notice doing things that aren’t helpful. Gaining insight offers insight to what we can change. Remember, practicing mindfulness changes our default networks and neural pathways.

I hope this first step in exploring mindfulness will be helpful. It may be new to some of you or a refresher for those of you who have practiced mindfulness for a while. In upcoming posts we will build on these skills by allowing ourselves to stay present, exploring self compassion, using our senses to stay present, being responsive instead of reactive, and ways to be more observational and non-judgmental with ourselves. Mindfulness is not just a useful way to deal with distress, it is also an excellent way to enhance well-being. The goal is to shift toward being more fully present and grounded in your daily life. It is a practice I use (yes, I have a very strong doing mind!) and recommend to clients and loved ones. I hope you find it beneficial as well.

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